How to Market yourself as a Writer

December 4, 2017

 

You can always market yourself like this fancy lady above. She's got that snazzy hair, the shiny sunglasses, the glistening lipstick. But you say, Preston, noooooooooooooo............ I don't need all that fancy, smancy attention, I just want to write books!!!

I know.

Me too.

It's a cruel world we live in these days.

 

But hell, the days of Hemingway are over, yo! We've got to use this crappy thing called tech. It's not so crappy though. It helps us communicate with the world!

 

Yes! Your dream.

Mine, too.

Now, we are friends.

I'm so glad to hear that. Cheers!

 

 

That OJ's enticing, isn't it? No, I'm not talking about the killer with a friendly face (hint-famous ex-football star). But she is pretty, and she makes the drink look better. How do you want to represent yourself to your world? 

 

At first, keep things simple, kimosabe.

 

Take some small steps, and write a blog. You can then use that blog as a basic foundation for your first Vlog (these things are videos). Then you can make these short videos. They don’t have to be about your writing. They can be about another cool topic, and then you can elude to your writing.

 

The best thing to do is to try market yourself in one way or another to your audience each day.

Two good things come from this. One you stay in your audience’s mind, and two you can stay productive.

 

 

Don't stay productive like this cornball above in the redjacket, though. He's probably never ran a mile in his life. They just put him there because he's so muscular. Man, that's marketing. Man, life stinks.

 

Oh, wait, I have an idea. Take pictures of yourself looking really cool at your writer's desk, like Stephen King. I guarantee you'll soon have a best seller.

 

Kidding. But listen to my words. They are like fake gold nuggets on Celebrity Apprentice. Fake things lead to long presidencies, kimosabes.

 

Good.

I'm glad you're good.

I'm great.

I'm genius.

Don't brag. It's unbecoming.

Forgive me.

I did.

Now shut up.

ok.

 

It's time to take a break...

 

 

Not by Yoga though. Breaks by Yoga is a not a good marketing plan. One, it's bad for your soul. Two, yoga people are weird. I met one before at a bar.

 

I said, "Are you that guy, Body by Jake?"

He said, "Why yes, I am."

I said, "Oh my God. Like, I can't believe I'm meeting you in person. You are a great marketer."

Jake said, "Why thank you, Preston. But it is really you who I envy."

I said, "Why Jake?"

"Because, Preston, you try to make a living off of your brain, and you are broke, and I shake my ass and make millions. It is a disgracefully, wealthy lifestyle and I love every second of it, so keep on writing, laddy..."

 

***

Jake's words were profound. He was probably the smartest person I'd ever met. I really suggest that you shake your ass like Jake. It is one of the greatest marketing techniques every used by an American citizen.

 

 

 

 

I hope you found value in my blog today, but there is so much more value in my middle grade book, Saleena Sanchez. So, check it out, yo! :)

 

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The important thing is to just keep working towards your dreams. That is the best chance you have of success.

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